


Stupid

by FlamboyantScientist



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Boys Not Understanding Crushes, Canonical Character Death, Denial of Feelings, Friendship, Getting over loss, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Organisation XIII, Songfic, Takes place during CoM, and KH2, maybe? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 02:59:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19142197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlamboyantScientist/pseuds/FlamboyantScientist
Summary: Roxas leaves.And that’s it.Roxas is gone, and there’s nothing Axel can do about it.ORAxel comes to terms with his feelings a little too late.(Title and song is ‘Stupid’ by Brendon Maclean)





	Stupid

_~if you weren’t so stupid I could’ve loved you~_  
_~and if you weren’t so stupid—~_  
_~but you’re pretty stupid~_

Roxas leaves. 

And that’s it. 

Roxas is gone, and there’s nothing Axel can do about it. 

So he sits, brooding, in his little room in the Organisation’s newest hideout, contemplating everything. Xion is gone too, now, but Axel doesn’t really know what happened. Something about Roxas, again. And every time he hears his name everything else flies out of his head but Axel doesn’t know why. And it’s driving him _crazy_. 

“It’s stupid,” He reminds himself. 

“Uh huh, sure, Axel,” Demyx nods from the doorway, looking concerned, “It is stupid. You’re being stupid.” 

“No.” 

“No?” 

“I’m not being stupid,” Axel growls, making Demyx shrink back on himself a little, “It’s not me, it’s... Roxas. Roxas is stupid.” 

“Okay,” Demyx agrees without hesitation, “If you say so.” 

“Why aren’t you arguing with me?” Axel frowns, throwing a halfhearted glare towards his friend. 

Demyx shrugs, “‘Cause you’re healing. It’s difficult to get over heartbreak.” 

Axel almost does a double take, “Heartbreak? What are you talking about, Demyx?” 

Sighing, Demyx waves a hand, “I don’t know. It’s stupid, isn’t it?” 

So Axel broods. He replays memories, events, that he remembers with Roxas and Xion. Things he has committed to memory. Things that will never die as long as he is alive. 

Eventually he distracts himself again. Forcing himself on mission after mission. He vaguely remembers Marluxia reminding him to take breaks, but doesn’t listen to him. Until he winds up in Demyx’s room again, spread out across his bed with his head in Demyx’s lap while Marluxia is perched on the desk in the corner. 

“He was a busy guy, wasn’t he?” Axel asks out of nowhere. 

Demyx looks down at his best friend, “Who?” 

“Roxas,” Axel rolls his green eyes like it should be obvious, “He was a busy guy. Always on missions and stuff. We never really saw him a lot.” 

Marluxia looks away from a book he’d picked up, blowing his hair from his face, “The Superior did seem to give him a lot of missions.” 

“Yeah!” Axel gestures with his hand widely, almost hitting Demyx, “Exactly! He never really had time for us.” 

“You did meet him for ice cream almost everyday, though,” Marluxia points out. 

“You need to drop it, Axe,” Demyx sighs, “He’s gone, okay? There’s nothing you can really do about it anymore.” 

Axel huffs, and folds his arms over his chest, “Fine. I’m just saying—“ 

“Axel.” 

At some point, Axel finds himself staring in the mirror in Zexion’s old room.

He preens his hair, straightens up his coat, and grins at his reflection. 

“You know what,” He mutters to himself, puffing his chest out a little, “You’re looking awesome. You know who doesn’t look awesome?” 

“Let me guess; Roxas?”

Axel turns, seeing Demyx again standing in the doorway. 

“Why are you in Zexion’s old room?” He frowns. 

“I wanted to see if the small guy had anything left in his room I could pinch,” Axel shrugs casually, resuming his search through a white chest of drawers against the wall. 

Demyx wrinkles his nose, “Axel, that’s his stuff.” 

“So? Not like he’s around to use it anymore.” 

“Axel!” 

The redhead glances towards his friend, and is met with the strongest glare Demyx has ever mustered against him. His blue eyes are shiny with unshed tears and his fists are clenched at his sides. 

“I get you’re upset about Roxas, but for once in your life, think about other people!” The blond stomps his foot a little childishly, “That’s Zexion’s stuff, Axel! You can’t just... you can’t just take it just because... just because he’s gone, you can’t...” 

Axel pulls back from the drawers, “Demyx, I... I mean, we came back, so did Marluxia so...” 

“I’m fed up of you moping about Roxas!” Demyx snaps, “And... and shitting on other people! Get out of his room!” 

Blinking, Axel holds his hands up, “Dem—“ 

“Out!” 

Axel hurries around his friend in fear of being drowned, and retreats back to his own room. 

He ends up avoiding Demyx for a while after that. And Demyx doesn’t come looking for him like he usually does. Axel figures the blond water wielder will come and find him when he’s ready, and once he’s calmed down about the whole Zexion thing. 

But he never does. 

And in hindsight, the argument with Demyx stops Axel from thinking about Roxas, for a while. 

The next time Roxas crosses Axel’s mind, he’s surprised at himself. He feels self conscious, but starts acting confident. It doesn’t make sense. The person he’s with isn’t even Roxas. 

It’s Sora. 

His name is Sora. 

(For clarification; Roxas is _not_ Sora.) 

And Sora (not Roxas) is acting so incredibly naïve, trying to take on hoards of heartless alone. Without his companions. It would be rude of Axel not to step in and help out, right?

As he lays there, the face kneeling by him swimming in and out of focus, Axel finally comes to terms with the reasoning behind his feelings. Why he keeps thinking about Roxas, why he keeps lying to himself, why he keeps trying to distract himself. 

As he lays there, the world going black at the edges of his vision, Axel looks into Roxas’ eyes, and commits them to memory. 

“Y’know,” He cracks a halfhearted grin at the person who left him, “If you weren’t so _stupid_... I could’ve loved you.” 

All he remembers is the furrowed brow on the boy’s face as flames consumed his body. 

_~so let’s stop, pretend~_  
_~that they’ll be a happy end~_  
_~let’s not be friends~_  
_~for sure~_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! The song gave me some feels about my faves, and I had to write it down.
> 
> Comments give me motivation!!


End file.
